Delayed Fill

Haven't posted in a while, mostly because I've been busy running around all week, and haven't really had much new to report.

I was supposed to have my fill, and follow-up appointment on Tuesday, but due to car troubles, I had to reschedule for today. So, today is the day! I have my Lidoderm patch, armed and ready! I'm really hoping they fill it right up, because I am basically not feeling any restriction.

This week has probably been the hardest week aside from the surgery itself. Practicing self-control, for me, has been extremely difficult. But since I have been exercising so much, its been a teeny bit easier to eat better foods. The thought of indulging in crappy food, after busting my rear-end so hard at the gym, makes me feel guilty and irritated. So that has helped!


I'll post again after the fill!! Ahh!!

Port Protection

Obviously the area that contains my port is sensitive. I've heard many a bandster talk about it starting out extremely sensitive and staying that way. But there are times (like when changing my daughter's diaper for example) when I wish that my port could come with the same kind of protection that a gentlemen gets for his... shoulders during the pleasant game of football.

New invention- shoulder pads for our stomachs! 

Mmm... no.

My baby girl always seems to kick me where it counts, at least half a dozen times a day. Poor port, always taking a beating.
My port will have it's pleasure this Tuesday though. I'm getting nervous about my first fill. My stepmom sent me some Lidoderm patches to help take the edge off on the big day (thank you kindly, I love you =D!!!) I think what I'm most worried about is what it feels like, and what happens if I go straight from yellow to red, and completely skip green!

Silly I know. This coming from the same girl that had to be mentally dragged, kicking and screaming to get the staples out from the surgery. No pain no gain. But I am such a pansy!

Oh, and lame-o here forgot to weigh herself today. So my weekly weigh-in will be a day late this week. Not that I'm overly excited to hop on the scale... almost positive it will be an increase this week. But whattaya' gonna do? Embrace, embrace embrace. AND GET MY FILL BEFORE I GO OFF THE DEEP END! Can't wait to get from yellow to green!

Self-Control

I knew this wasn't going to be easy. And also knew that the band was simply a tool to help me through my weight-loss. Yes, shocker- the band has yet to magically delete every ounce of fat from my body. Something I didn't know however, was how quickly self-control would become an even bigger tool through my weight-loss. I think I can safely say, that now that I have gone through the weeks of only liquids, and the pain of the surgery, my self-control is at it's peak. Every bit of me (lard included) wants to make sure that I never have to go through all of that again, nor do I want to ruin everything I've worked so hard for. Why go through all of the trouble of pre-op diet, surgery, and post-op diet, just to throw it all away before the first fill even comes around. I have found this week and last week challenging, but one thing I think I've come out of it with, is my self-control. When my stomach was still swollen from the surgery, I got a taste (no pun intended) of what restriction felt like. Now that I am almost 27 days post-op, I am not feeling the restriction I once did. But since I know the amount I was able to consume when there was restriction, I think I can safely apply it to now, when there is no restriction. I will admit, there was a span of days where I hadn't realized the restriction was gone, and my food choices were not the greatest. This will probably result in my first scale increase this Friday. But not without a lesson learned.

The band isn't going to do my thinking for me. My brain still needs to be on board if I want to be successful with my weight-loss.

Only 6 days until my post-op follow-up/fill. Basically, I'm counting the minutes.

Gymmin' It and Sammichs

So this past week, I started up at the gym. Not pushing it too hard, as I haven't gotten the go ahead from my surgeon for exercise. But I'm doing the whole "listening to my body" thing. The feeling after I'm done working out, is basically euphoric. Makes me very eager to start up Zumba again!

My first follow-up and fill is on the 25th. I'm a little anxious about this appointment. Seems like I've been able to eat a little more lately than I should be able to. I'm terrified of stretching out my pouch before I even get to the follow-up appointment. So I've been trying to keep strict to the diet, and chugging water in between meals. However this weekend I did have my first sandwich. It was pretty much amazing. I started off too fast on it, and when I took the first three bites, they fell heavy on my stomach like bricks. I think I was just excited to have my first scrumptious sammi in WEEKS! But then I quickly remembered my proper-band-eating etiquette, and chew chew chew, and then chew chew chew some more, and my sammich and stomach were getting along great. But the fact that I was able to fit an entire six inch sandwich in my stomach, with out feeling sick, puts me on edge. Maybe next time I'll cut that in half. Wow. And to think, a little over a month ago, I was completely willing and able to devour a footlong with a bag of chips and a large soda like it was nothing. And then of course still be hungry after.

Learning. Its all learning about my new stomach, and how to treat it right. Just hope I don't flunk.

A Blessing in Disguise

Well... today I had my first ever encounter with Army Wife Drama (I shall shorten that to AWD). I think for being an Army Wife for over 3 years, this isn't too bad to just have my first encounter now. Of course we all hope it never comes along, but there is always someone out there that has to ruin it!

Anyway, I'm not here to talk about what that AWD was... I'm here to talk about what this particular spouse knew about me. Something I haven't told a lot of the spouses here- that I am banded! I haven't ever been ashamed of my band. I've been ashamed that I already need it at 22 years old. I'm sad that I let my body become so toxic. But, I'm happy I'm on my way to fixing it! Hallelujah!

So the spouse that was on the other end of this AWD is one of the few that ended up knowing about what I underwent a couple of weeks ago. And after it all went down today, I got terrified that everyone in the unit will now know that I had a weight loss surgery. Since she has shown me her true colors today, I have this feeling it wouldn't be beneath her to gossip about me, and to share something I told her in confidence.

And then it hit me. It was if I heard God himself whisper in my ear-

"Just embrace it."

I think today is the first day, that I'm kinda done caring about what people think of me. I'm not perfect, I'm only human. So of course there will ALWAYS be someone who would like to think they will benefit from my mistakes. And I know I'll have off days, where I will feel sensitive, and vulnerable to what others have to say/think. But I am praying that I can hold on to this feeling of refreshing self-confidence that I have tonight. 

Something my mother said to me tonight- "How does that saying go Kelly? If someone is talking about you behind your back, it just means you're two steps ahead of them!" 

Why bother caring about that petty crap anymore. I truly almost broke down tonight all because of one Army Wife. How could I let someone have that affect on me!? 

So, her raunchy ways, were a blessing in disguise for me tonight. Because guess what- 

I'M BANDED! And I don't really give a flying... squirrel what anyone has to say about it! =) 

Oh... and AWD can suck it =* 

So! What Do You Think?!

Very excited to have my new layout up and active! ALL thanks go to Jen at Just Foolin' Blog Designs! She worked diligently to make all of the wishes I had for my blog, appear! Jen is very talented and further more, kind and professional! If you take your blogging seriously, than have your blog seriously redesigned by someone who know's what she's doing!

Here's what my blog looked like before-

Cute, but completely irrelevant to what I blog about.

Now, feel free to grab a button for your blog to represent! =) 

Thank you for your work Jen! I love it! 

I went to the gym today for the first time since surgery! Did 30 minutes on the elliptical, and another 20 on the bike, which felt nice. I made sure not to over-do it, and didn't push myself as hard as I normally would. I am terrified of messing up my band, and don't want to put a fork in the healing process. I took it easy, and had a nice gentle work out, burning around 450 calories. Not to bad. The gym I went to on post, has a mommy and me area. So this made it really easy to bring my daughter along. I look forward to spending many hours there in the future!

A question I have for my fellow banditas- when you were in the liquid/mushy phase, what did you do if you were invited out to restaurants? Did you stay home until you were in the clear? If you did go out, what kind of things did you order in the mushy phase? Just wondering!

Anyone have any fun recipes to share for the mushies!?!? I need some healthy choices put before me!

Well Hello "Mushies!"

Officially entered the mushy stage this weekend! Pretty nice to have something with some consistency! It is also nice to feel restriction! Things that I used to easily be able to eat an entire bowl of, I can now only eat... oh... I don't know... a HUMAN PORTION SIZE! Hello!!

Things are really starting to feel normal now. Everyday I learn more and more about my band, and about my new stomach. However, something I know I need to chill out on, are my nerves flaring up every time I get a headache, or body ache. I instantly think that something could be wrong with my band. Did anyone else go through this? Is this normal? And how long did this weird paranoid feeling last?

Well! Anyway! My family is waiting for my undivided attention! So I'm off!

Oh... but not quite yet.. got some shots of my daughter and I this weekend! Feeling better and better about being IN the shots with her, instead of being always behind the camera!

LOVE HER!!!!! She's such awesome motivation for me! Please excuse the pasty white arms...

Ok. Now I'm really off! =)

Stay tuned for a pleasant surprise from a "justfoolin" kinda gal!