Delayed Fill

Haven't posted in a while, mostly because I've been busy running around all week, and haven't really had much new to report.

I was supposed to have my fill, and follow-up appointment on Tuesday, but due to car troubles, I had to reschedule for today. So, today is the day! I have my Lidoderm patch, armed and ready! I'm really hoping they fill it right up, because I am basically not feeling any restriction.

This week has probably been the hardest week aside from the surgery itself. Practicing self-control, for me, has been extremely difficult. But since I have been exercising so much, its been a teeny bit easier to eat better foods. The thought of indulging in crappy food, after busting my rear-end so hard at the gym, makes me feel guilty and irritated. So that has helped!


I'll post again after the fill!! Ahh!!

Port Protection

Obviously the area that contains my port is sensitive. I've heard many a bandster talk about it starting out extremely sensitive and staying that way. But there are times (like when changing my daughter's diaper for example) when I wish that my port could come with the same kind of protection that a gentlemen gets for his... shoulders during the pleasant game of football.

New invention- shoulder pads for our stomachs! 

Mmm... no.

My baby girl always seems to kick me where it counts, at least half a dozen times a day. Poor port, always taking a beating.
My port will have it's pleasure this Tuesday though. I'm getting nervous about my first fill. My stepmom sent me some Lidoderm patches to help take the edge off on the big day (thank you kindly, I love you =D!!!) I think what I'm most worried about is what it feels like, and what happens if I go straight from yellow to red, and completely skip green!

Silly I know. This coming from the same girl that had to be mentally dragged, kicking and screaming to get the staples out from the surgery. No pain no gain. But I am such a pansy!

Oh, and lame-o here forgot to weigh herself today. So my weekly weigh-in will be a day late this week. Not that I'm overly excited to hop on the scale... almost positive it will be an increase this week. But whattaya' gonna do? Embrace, embrace embrace. AND GET MY FILL BEFORE I GO OFF THE DEEP END! Can't wait to get from yellow to green!

Self-Control

I knew this wasn't going to be easy. And also knew that the band was simply a tool to help me through my weight-loss. Yes, shocker- the band has yet to magically delete every ounce of fat from my body. Something I didn't know however, was how quickly self-control would become an even bigger tool through my weight-loss. I think I can safely say, that now that I have gone through the weeks of only liquids, and the pain of the surgery, my self-control is at it's peak. Every bit of me (lard included) wants to make sure that I never have to go through all of that again, nor do I want to ruin everything I've worked so hard for. Why go through all of the trouble of pre-op diet, surgery, and post-op diet, just to throw it all away before the first fill even comes around. I have found this week and last week challenging, but one thing I think I've come out of it with, is my self-control. When my stomach was still swollen from the surgery, I got a taste (no pun intended) of what restriction felt like. Now that I am almost 27 days post-op, I am not feeling the restriction I once did. But since I know the amount I was able to consume when there was restriction, I think I can safely apply it to now, when there is no restriction. I will admit, there was a span of days where I hadn't realized the restriction was gone, and my food choices were not the greatest. This will probably result in my first scale increase this Friday. But not without a lesson learned.

The band isn't going to do my thinking for me. My brain still needs to be on board if I want to be successful with my weight-loss.

Only 6 days until my post-op follow-up/fill. Basically, I'm counting the minutes.

Gymmin' It and Sammichs

So this past week, I started up at the gym. Not pushing it too hard, as I haven't gotten the go ahead from my surgeon for exercise. But I'm doing the whole "listening to my body" thing. The feeling after I'm done working out, is basically euphoric. Makes me very eager to start up Zumba again!

My first follow-up and fill is on the 25th. I'm a little anxious about this appointment. Seems like I've been able to eat a little more lately than I should be able to. I'm terrified of stretching out my pouch before I even get to the follow-up appointment. So I've been trying to keep strict to the diet, and chugging water in between meals. However this weekend I did have my first sandwich. It was pretty much amazing. I started off too fast on it, and when I took the first three bites, they fell heavy on my stomach like bricks. I think I was just excited to have my first scrumptious sammi in WEEKS! But then I quickly remembered my proper-band-eating etiquette, and chew chew chew, and then chew chew chew some more, and my sammich and stomach were getting along great. But the fact that I was able to fit an entire six inch sandwich in my stomach, with out feeling sick, puts me on edge. Maybe next time I'll cut that in half. Wow. And to think, a little over a month ago, I was completely willing and able to devour a footlong with a bag of chips and a large soda like it was nothing. And then of course still be hungry after.

Learning. Its all learning about my new stomach, and how to treat it right. Just hope I don't flunk.

A Blessing in Disguise

Well... today I had my first ever encounter with Army Wife Drama (I shall shorten that to AWD). I think for being an Army Wife for over 3 years, this isn't too bad to just have my first encounter now. Of course we all hope it never comes along, but there is always someone out there that has to ruin it!

Anyway, I'm not here to talk about what that AWD was... I'm here to talk about what this particular spouse knew about me. Something I haven't told a lot of the spouses here- that I am banded! I haven't ever been ashamed of my band. I've been ashamed that I already need it at 22 years old. I'm sad that I let my body become so toxic. But, I'm happy I'm on my way to fixing it! Hallelujah!

So the spouse that was on the other end of this AWD is one of the few that ended up knowing about what I underwent a couple of weeks ago. And after it all went down today, I got terrified that everyone in the unit will now know that I had a weight loss surgery. Since she has shown me her true colors today, I have this feeling it wouldn't be beneath her to gossip about me, and to share something I told her in confidence.

And then it hit me. It was if I heard God himself whisper in my ear-

"Just embrace it."

I think today is the first day, that I'm kinda done caring about what people think of me. I'm not perfect, I'm only human. So of course there will ALWAYS be someone who would like to think they will benefit from my mistakes. And I know I'll have off days, where I will feel sensitive, and vulnerable to what others have to say/think. But I am praying that I can hold on to this feeling of refreshing self-confidence that I have tonight. 

Something my mother said to me tonight- "How does that saying go Kelly? If someone is talking about you behind your back, it just means you're two steps ahead of them!" 

Why bother caring about that petty crap anymore. I truly almost broke down tonight all because of one Army Wife. How could I let someone have that affect on me!? 

So, her raunchy ways, were a blessing in disguise for me tonight. Because guess what- 

I'M BANDED! And I don't really give a flying... squirrel what anyone has to say about it! =) 

Oh... and AWD can suck it =* 

So! What Do You Think?!

Very excited to have my new layout up and active! ALL thanks go to Jen at Just Foolin' Blog Designs! She worked diligently to make all of the wishes I had for my blog, appear! Jen is very talented and further more, kind and professional! If you take your blogging seriously, than have your blog seriously redesigned by someone who know's what she's doing!

Here's what my blog looked like before-

Cute, but completely irrelevant to what I blog about.

Now, feel free to grab a button for your blog to represent! =) 

Thank you for your work Jen! I love it! 

I went to the gym today for the first time since surgery! Did 30 minutes on the elliptical, and another 20 on the bike, which felt nice. I made sure not to over-do it, and didn't push myself as hard as I normally would. I am terrified of messing up my band, and don't want to put a fork in the healing process. I took it easy, and had a nice gentle work out, burning around 450 calories. Not to bad. The gym I went to on post, has a mommy and me area. So this made it really easy to bring my daughter along. I look forward to spending many hours there in the future!

A question I have for my fellow banditas- when you were in the liquid/mushy phase, what did you do if you were invited out to restaurants? Did you stay home until you were in the clear? If you did go out, what kind of things did you order in the mushy phase? Just wondering!

Anyone have any fun recipes to share for the mushies!?!? I need some healthy choices put before me!

Well Hello "Mushies!"

Officially entered the mushy stage this weekend! Pretty nice to have something with some consistency! It is also nice to feel restriction! Things that I used to easily be able to eat an entire bowl of, I can now only eat... oh... I don't know... a HUMAN PORTION SIZE! Hello!!

Things are really starting to feel normal now. Everyday I learn more and more about my band, and about my new stomach. However, something I know I need to chill out on, are my nerves flaring up every time I get a headache, or body ache. I instantly think that something could be wrong with my band. Did anyone else go through this? Is this normal? And how long did this weird paranoid feeling last?

Well! Anyway! My family is waiting for my undivided attention! So I'm off!

Oh... but not quite yet.. got some shots of my daughter and I this weekend! Feeling better and better about being IN the shots with her, instead of being always behind the camera!

LOVE HER!!!!! She's such awesome motivation for me! Please excuse the pasty white arms...

Ok. Now I'm really off! =)

Stay tuned for a pleasant surprise from a "justfoolin" kinda gal!

Goodbye Staples! Hello Decent Workout?

Let me start off by saying- In regards to my last post, I am feeling MUCH better today. Hallelujah!

Well, today I have to get my staples removed. All 18 of them! Certainly not an appointment I am looking forward to. I'm such a pansy when it comes to this! I have heard from numerous people that it doesn't hurt, just feels like a little tugging... but... Ewww! I'm happy they are finally coming out today though. For me, it will really feel like the surgery process is over. I can close that door and open the new one to weight-loss. Also... I'm really tired of tearing bandages off of my skin! So it will be nice not to have to worry about changing those anymore!!

So I have some questions about exercise. I have been walking everyday, wether its through the mall, or through the neighborhood, I have made sure that I am getting my walking in. But I am wondering when its safe to really pick up the pace a little. Once the staples are out? I am desperate to start Zumba up again, and also really eager to get to the gym. Especially since the gym on any post or base here, is free for military and their families! How soon after you were banded did you begin a workout regiment?

Oh Hi! Just Me. And Poop. And Bubba.

So! How's everyone's week going? I can't quite believe that it's Wednesday already!!! Things have been going really well for me lately! Its been a busy week full of challenges, but I've done pretty well through them. Having friends who don't know about my surgery inviting me out for dinner is a less than stellar expeirence. But I refuse to ditch my friends, and lock myself in the house because my diet is temporarily different.
This post-op diet has been way more difficult than the pre-op diet was. I have no idea why. Through out the pre-op diet, I never craved things I couldn't had. I followed it and and didn't once think about cheating. This post-op diet... I have been so desperate for something solid, that I will take a bite of whatever it is, just to chew something, and spit it back out. I know this isn't forever. And I look forward to gradually getting to the point where I can eat solid foods again. Just tough! One thing I can say though, I can't believe how much less I am hungry. Around this time of night for me (5pm) Is when it starts to get the worst! I remember always "vegging" out at this time of day, right straight until bedtime. Its nice that in between meals, water is always enough! I don't even think about eating the way I used to. It's nice. Refreshing.

One thing I am battling right now is something most don't really like to talk about on a regular basis...

***WARNING***

I'm about to write about poop. =)

Was the image going to far?

I'm sorry.

I haven't had a BM since the night before my surgery- almost two weeks ago. And it took my surgeon/surgeon's nurse that long to respond to me with what to do! It seemed obvious to me what I needed to do, but I wasn't sure what was allowed with the band, and I am terrified of messing something up! I haven't felt the urge to go, I've had no bloating, and no stomach pain. Just plain old haven't had a BM. So, needless to say, I just took good 'ole Ex-Lax for the first time in my life. This has me worried! Guess I'm not going anywhere tonight!!! 

Any who!! That's that on the poop topic. On a much, MUCH (!) brighter note, another blogger is to be banded this week!! I call her Bubba! Because she and I are like peas an carrots! She is also just starting out on this journey just like I am, and we some how landed upon the fact that our friendship is much like that of Forrest and Bubba. Stop on by and say hi to MOMoJJ, and make sure she's got all of the support she could possibly need for her surgery this Thursday!!! YOU GOT THIS BUBBA!!! Many prayers for you this week! Can't wait to hear from you on the other side!! 

Ahhh! To Be Pain Free!

Yesterday, Sunday, was the first day since surgery that I have been relatively pain-free. So understandably, I took advantage of it! Went to church, walked around the mall, came home made my daughter and I some lunch, and then we went out and walked some more! It was gorgeous weather, and I was finally starting to feel decent and human again!

Things are finally getting easier. Sleeping, eating, and just going about my daily life is a breeze. I finally am able to fall asleep easy, now that there is no pain. All of my shoulder pain just, POOF! vanished. So weird. But I'm not complaining! My eating is interesting. I am technically supposed to be on a liquid diet for 2 weeks post op. I still pretty much am. But I have add in mashed potatoes and eggs to that. I'm simply listening to my body, and seeing what will work and what won't. I feel restriction, and I don't know if that is because of the swelling still or if its just the band doing its lovely job. But let me tell you, after years of never having the sensation of being full, to now feeling it at every meal... so wonderful. I've learned to use smaller glasses, plates, bowls, and silverware. What's the point to have a cereal bowl, when I can only consume about a little bit more than a golf ball of mashed potatoes!?

Feelin' good ladies!

Blarg!

Well... I wish I had a weight update, but I don't. I had decided I was going to choose Friday as the day I updated everyone about my weight, like many other's have chosen to do. "Friday Weighday!"

Yesterday morning, I hopped on the scale right after my husband left for work (at 5:30 in the morning... YUCK) and I was sorely disappointed when the scale showed an increase in weight! So I dragged myself back to bed, feeling pretty bummed. About an hour and a half later, my daughter woke up. So I decided to just be sure... and it said I was 6 pounds less then what I had weighed an hour and a half ago!

Needless to say, I will be figuring that out very quickly before next Friday Weighday!

I've been doing pretty good lately! Everything feels like it's getting better. Honestly, if it wasn't for this stupid shoulder pain, I'd be able to say the surgery was relatively painless. It's the only thing that has seem to have been getting worse as the week goes by. Yesterday, and today, the pain is so sharp in my left shoulder, I can't take a deep breath with out wanting to keel over. I saw a doctor on base about it yesterday morning, and he basically treated me like I had no clue what I was talking about. That I shouldn't be so quick to relate it to the surgery, and he then proceeded to show me some different stretches... just a big joke. Just have to hope it goes away soon I guess.

One of the really cool things that I have experienced this week, is my friends commenting on the fact that it looks like I've lost weight. Not very many people know about my surgery, so for the people who have no clue about it to notice, feels good!

So my questions for my other fellow bandster's-

Did anyone else have the similar shoulder pain?
What was your diet like immediately after surgery?
 --Were you told only clear liquids the week after surgery and did you follow that?