Annoyed & Happy

Yes. Annoyed while simultaneously being happy. Oxymoron? Maybe. But its very much how I'm feeling right now. Let me start off by saying that I am 100% sure I want nothing to do with another fill. I think my band is doing its job as much as it possibly can, and if I did get another fill, I think it would be too much. I say this because I had my first episode with food getting stuck. I thought I knew what it as like before. And I'd think its safe to say that there are different multitudes to food getting stuck in the band... but if there were a scale- 1 being a little stuck, and 10 being SO stuck its not going down, I had a level 10 stuckage today. And I vomited. Something I haven't done in YEARS! The whole thing was just terrible. But, quite frankly, I deserved it. This week alone, I've had a lot of issues with not paying attention to my eating. I haven't been chewing my food like I should, and I have been eating way to fast. We're talkin' level 8 and 9 stuckage here. Really naughty. So I'm kind of glad I got this level 10 out out of the way. I think it was just the right punishment to get me back on track with slow eating and much chewing. So this is why I've been annoyed. Really annoyed that I hadn't learned from the pain all week.

Happy. HAPPY!!! Really happy, because I have lost 3 pant sizes since beginning this whole journey! My husband and I were bored today, and made a trip to the BX or "mall", and I decided to try on some jeans. The ones I wear now, I can literally grab a hand full of denim because they are so big. So when I tried on the first pair I picked out, and they fit... I of course had to leave with them! Yay for new jeans! Happy happy happy! I love non-scale vix!

Another One Gone!

And another pound bites the dust!! The weight seems to be falling off at a good rate. I could be making better food choices... so with that in mind, I get on top of healthier choices, and have even more of a positive result. My husband is back on the day shift again, so I am able to get to the gym every day again. This month's results should be wonderful!! This may be pushing it... but I would love to get to "One"derland this month!!! Too fast? Maybe... but might as well aim for it!

Today I am headed to the Landstuhl Wellness Center! A close friend of mine told me about some tests they run to find my metabolic measurements. When the results come in, I will know the exact amount of calories I need to consume and burn, in order for my body to lose weight! Pretty neat! I'll let everyone know how it goes when I find out my results, which should be Friday.

5K Day!!!!!!!

I did it!!!!! I ran 5K today!!! I am SO proud of me. Pretty much the greatest I've felt since getting the surgery. I still want to shave 10 minutes off of my time. I ran it in 40 minutes and 35 seconds. My goal still stands to run 5K in half an hour. But I'm just so stoked about todays work out. YES!!!!

^Me on my 5Kday! ^

(Wearing my Not Of This World shirt... I know that [He] had something to do with it!)

Friday Weighday and Still On The Fence

I lost another 2.2 pounds since last week! Making my total weight loss 32.6 pounds! =)

Still on the fence about getting another fill. If I haven't had any gain since my first fill, and I am feeling some restriction... do I really need another? I actually feel that in the past week, my band has gotten tighter. Is this even possible? Just in these past few days, food has been getting stuck, and my restriction has been amazing. But last week, I felt like I could eat enough to feed a small army with no problem.

So with that being said, I guess I'll just hold off for a while. Where I'm at seems to at least be working out. There are times where I think I could be utilizing the band better if I had another fill, but maybe I need to just utilize self-control better during those times. Day by day I suppose!

My Mama arrived in Germany two days ago, and we are having a great time! Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Shark Week Rants!

I guess I should start off by saying these next rants should probably be taken with a grain of salt because I'm surfing the crimson wave this week. But it would feel really great to get these things off my cranky chest!

Let me start with the jerk at the gym this evening! I shall call him Gym Jerk. I arrived and started in with my normal gym routine and Gym Jerk was on the treadmill. This past week, only 3 out of the 5 or 6 treadmills are in working order. At every other gym facilities on the different military posts/bases, they have little signs that say something like "Only use machine for up to 30 minutes when others are waiting." So one cleared up and I hopped on, because I was "next in line" so to speak. As I'm like 10 minutes in to my run, I glance over and notice Gym Jerk has been on for 55 minutes. Whatever... maybe he's just more important than everyone else. Maybe he'll get off soon. Another machine clears up, and another person hops on. I'm now about 15 minutes in and another person arrives at the gym and attempts to hop on one of the 3 broken machines. Gym Jerk is nice enough to tell this person they are broken, and then looks over at me with "I think its time you get off." written all over his face. Whatever. I finished my run, and moved on to the elliptical like I normally do. I never did notice when Gym Jerk finally gave up the treadmill to someone else, it wasn't until my routine called for the weight machines that we met again. I was on the unit that works your abs, and noticed Gym Jerk was on the machine I typically headed to next. No biggy. I could find another machine to play around on until it was free. When he finally freed it up, I headed over, set down my water and began my arm reps. No sooner did Gym Jerk walk over to the machine I was using and just stood there. I kind of thought maybe he was standing up in between his reps, but after about a minute of him standing there, I noticed he was staring at me! So I said "Can I help you?" He says "I was using that machine." To which I responded "Yes... you were.. then you got up and walked to another, and it looked as if you were done here." And he proceeded to just stand in front of me... ohhh Gym Jerk. Its the wrong time of the month for you to be doing this! So I ignored him. Finished my reps, and took my time in between. Sorry. You don't get to claim more than one machine at a time =) I don't think he could have moved into the seat any faster after I got up, with out sitting on my lap. So I turned to him and said "You don't want me to wipe my sweat off of that first!?" And he just ignored me. What a moron.

Neeeeeext!

I'm irritated with the hoops I have to jump through to get a second fill. Maybe this is making up for the lack of hoops I had to jump through to get the actual surgery. But is there really no one at this world renowned military hospital that can stick a needle in my port and inject some saline solution into my band!?!? I have to drive 2 hours away, for an appointment that should only take 10 minutes at the most (and normally ends up taking 3 hours with this hospital) and then drive 2 hours home. Not a fun day, especially for my daughter. So after making almost two dozen phone calls to Landstuhl Regional Medical Center (LRMC) I went right around in a circle to find out that they would refer me off post (which is to the hospital I've been going to anyway.) So I was going to suck it up and just go again to Frankfurt, because I really need another fill. But I got laughed at on the phone, because I didn't have a referral letter from my insurance! So even more irritating... I have to go to a whole separate appointment, just to ask my PCM to write a referral, then wait for the referral to be approved, ~then~ go to Frankfurt for the day, just to get a fill. Awesome.

Annnd... Neeeeeeeeexttttt!!!!

I hate my husband's night shift schedule. Still. The END.

By the way- Gym Jerk- I hope you pull a muscle. *Hugs!*

*Sigh*... Just kidding. But I really don't like you.

The END END!

Bodymedia Fit Time Baby! And Fill Questions!

Just got my Bodymedia Fit in the mail today!!!! Though I'm waiting patiently to let the unit charge, I am extremely excited about giving it a go! The activity manager is really great. So far its been very simple to figure out. I can track calories burned, calories consumed, and physical activity. This little unit also tracks how well I'm sleeping! I haven't quite figured that part out yet, however.

Hoping it will be charged by the time I go to the gym this evening!! Yes... I said it. Going to the gym! My husband and I have kind of figured out how its going to work this month. On nights that he has to work, I will go when he gets home in the morning. On the nights he has off, I will go in the evening. Where we get hung up is when he has to stay at work later into the morning, making him so exhausted when he gets home, I opt out of going to the gym. Just because he's already been up all night. Needless to say, I can't wait for this month of the night shift to be over. Ready to go back to when he's on day shift, everything is easier! But thats always been the case =)

Getting through this! And so far I haven't gained. Looking forward to using my new tool to make sure that for sure doesn't happen!

I have a question for all you banded veterans out there!- I have had on fill (where they put in 3cc). I'm trying to figure out if its right for me to get another. I do feel a good amount of restriction. But I'm feeling like its not quite enough. Of course my self-control has sufficed thus far. But I feel like it just needs to be tweaked a little! So my question to you all is- How do you figure out if and when you need another fill?

"Don't beat yourself up!"

I don't know how much I've heard this phrase, just this week alone-

Don't beat yourself up!

My last post, I talked about how stressed I am about not getting to the gym every day. While words can't express what the support from my family and friends means to me, this is the one bit of support I can't listen to. 

The figure of speech "Don't beat yourself up!" means to me- "Don't be so hard on yourself!" and then boils down to-"Don't worry about it!" Sorry. That's how I got to this weight in the first place. I didn't beat myself up about not exercising for weeks at a time. I didn't beat myself up for eating all day long. 

So this week... making it to the gym only twice... yep. You guessed it. I'm beating myself up. I am happy to say that even though my schedule didn't allow for gym time, I did still lose .4 pounds this week. My view on this loss is purely optimistic. I attended three (not one.. not two... BUT THREE) Thanksgiving celebrations since my last weigh in. And only made it to the gym twice. So I'm happy for what could be a "night and day" loss. But, what I can't help dwelling on, is how much greater it would have been if I could have made it to the gym each day. So I guess that's only a little pessimistic. 

I have to figure this out. I can't go through this every other month when my husband switches to night shift. I have worked so hard for the weight I've lost. What sucks the most is still having the motivation, and not having the means. Complete hogwash! 

A complete post of complaining! Hope you enjoyed it. 

*Sigh*

I'm having a bit of a break down today. This evening will be the first night of the proceeding month that my husband goes back on the night shift. Previous months, I've only been moderately stressed when he makes his monthly switch from days to nights. But... those were the days when I didn't care about my health, the gym, and calories burned vs. consumed. For the past month or so, my husband has so graciously made it possible for me to go to the gym every day of the week. He would stay with our sweet girl, while I went and got some "me" time.
This month should be interesting with trying to figure how to make my gym routine work.

Another thing for today's post- I made a "before and... in progress" picture on Thanksgiving. Though I was able to tell I was losing weight in many ways (loose jeans, better heart rate, old cloths fitting that haven't for ages) putting these two pictures together, really was amazing. It just solidified that all of my hard work is SHOWING! So here it is-

NSV

I ran two miles yesterday afternoon, on top of my regular gym routine! I know this isn't much compared to what some do on a daily basis. But less than three months ago, I wasn't even walking on the treadmill, no less running! I've been stuck between a mile and a mile and a half lately. Yesterday I cranked out two. Can't wait to run all 5K.

"I'm light as a feather!"

In the beginning of this week, my husband and I ventured to Garmicsh, Germany for a 2 night, 3 day stay at the Edelweiss Lodge and Resort, centered in the gorgeous Alps! It was our 3 year wedding anniversary on the 15th. Prior to leaving, I made a pact with a friend, that I wouldn't do my weekly weigh-in this Friday (which has typically turned into Saturday's) due to the fact that vacation has an infamous way of putting ~on~ the pounds. And that wasn't really what I needed this week.

But this morning I had Horton on my mind. The scene where he was feeling "light as a feather" was running on replay in my mind from the moment I woke up. So I took it as a good sign that I should definitely weigh myself this morning!

Down almost three pounds from last week!!!! Though my week hasn't been the best with working out, I did make great food choices, and still was very active through out my vacation. I walked around the little towns (for shopping of course!), and through some of the trails in the mountains. We even took our daughter swimming at least 3 times during our stay. I also made it to the resort's gym Tuesday morning for an hour work out. Eating was pretty far from my mind for the most part, since we were so busy! The night of our anniversary, I ordered a chicken bacon melt sandwich. Certainly not the best food choice. BUT! My band turned it into one! Two bites in, I had to leave the table, because it got stuck! So I ended up only eating the grilled chicken with cheese on it. Bread and bacon had to hit the high road!

This is all quite a trip. Working out while on vacation!? Not eating the bacon?!? So happy to say that the old me has somewhat disappeared, and the healthier me is here for the long haul!

She's So Hiiii-eeeee-iiiiigh!

Just got home from the gym! Does anyone else feel a high/euphoric feeling when they return home from a good workout? That Tal Bachman song, "She's So High" Just runs through my head, an makes me all giddy. I don't know if its the fact that I get some "me-time", or if its the endorphins, or both. But it's the greatest feeling, and it quite literally lifts my mood for the remainder of the day! I am very much grateful that my husband supports my daily trips to the gym. I am so blessed to have him.

For the past couple of weeks, I have been praying over a goal. Wasn't sure if it was realistic or not. But Now I am. So here it is...

By March 15th, 2012, I want to be able to run a 30 minute or less (hopefully much less) 5K. March 15th is the day my husband and I started dating, and it will mark 6 wonderful years of knowing him! So! There it is, out in the open. Hold me accountable!!!! =D Have a good weekend everyone!

Working the Scale Corner No More!

Definition of a Scale Whore- one who hops on the scale at least once a day, in hopes to be paid in pounds lost. Often resulting in bad payment.

This was me. For a week.

Never. AGAIN!

So ridiculous. I went through a lot of unnecessary disappointment this week. I even went so far as to buy a new scale, just in case my original one wasn't telling the truth. Each day my weight would fluctuate 1-5 pounds. This was something I absolutely hated seeing (who doesn't?), especially because I have been busting butt and pushing myself at the gym. Not to mention I have been counting calories all week. It felt like all of my hard work was absolutely pointless. Yes... I did have a "screw-it" thought pass through my little pea-brain, but I did not act upon it. It was very tempting to say "Screw it. All of this work is giving me zero results. Why bother to continue it?" But after going through all of the hard work of the surgery, that kind of mind-frame is just not acceptable to me. 

Something else working against me this week, is that annoying lady time of the month. So that could have quite possibly been the reason for the weight flux. 

So what did this week of scale hookin' get me? A lot of unneeded and unnecessary stress... and maintenance! If I had just stayed clear of the "corner" this week, and stayed loyal to my healthy scale relationship, I would have had refreshing results at the end of the week. A .1 loss. 

Lesson learned!

Some things I will be doing within the next week on top of going to the gym every day, to take my getting in shape up a notch are purchasing the BodyBugg, and joining Team Beachbody. I've heard great things about the BodyBugg and will be buying that next week. As far as Team Beachbody- I just joined today. I look forward to seeing results with this program and having a coach (who happens to be a fellow friend!) to help me along my weight-loss journey! I'll report more on that as things progress!!

Another NSV!!!

For the past three weeks, I have been exercising everyday, and making it to the gym at least every other day. I started off slow with 30 minutes on the elliptical. I then threw in a little speed walking on the treadmill. And then threw in a little biking. Each day I would spend a little more time on each machine. Last week I tried my hand at jogging on the treadmill. I haven't really run since high school. Something that also has prevented me from jogging/running has been my breast size. Running is definitely not something I feel comfortable doing with my girls going every which way. So when I decided to jog last week, it was really a step out of my comfort zone! This week I have been able to run about 3/4 of a mile. This was really hard for me, and found that I wasn't able to push myself to get to that one. whole. MILE! So frustrating.

This morning at the gym, I pushed and pushed and pushed myself. Time hasn't gone by so slowly since I was in labor. I made it past the .75 mark. I then found my self at .87. And at that point, .9 felt good enough for me. I just couldn't make it one more minute running on that treadmill!

^This would have been the case if I was working out alone. But I had my friend Connie on the treadmill beside me! She just happened to look over right about the time I was going to decrease the speed and said-

"Oh!!! Your almost there!"

Those simple words were all it took (thank you Connie!!!), and I finally reached my mile today! I was of course happy that I had reached it, but I couldn't seem to get over how long it took. 12 minutes and 47 seconds is not my idea of a good mile time. But I quickly got over that when my husband said "Live in the now, and keep striving for better!", and I was soon 100% elated that I had run an entire mile. I can't wait to look back on this blog post and chuckle, because I will then be running 3 or 4 miles. 

All in all today I did 8 miles- 1 on the treadmill, 2 on the elliptical, and 5 on the bike. Ok.. and another .5 on the treadmill for cool down. 

As far as food choices go, I feel like I've been doing pretty well! I often find that I'm actually not hungry. The thought of eating is passing through my mind FAR less than pre-surgery. I do however think I will need another fill. I think I'm still able to eat just a little bit more than I should be able to put away. But knowing this, has also made self-control easier. We shall see! I'll give it another week or two and see how I make out. 

Again, I spaced my weigh in this morning... so that will come tomorrow morning! Stay tuned =)

Post Fill Experiences

So, my first fill was on Friday! The appointment itself was interesting to say the least, but only because I have never seen such a horrible lack of organization. Dealing with this German hospital has been good and bad. Positive because they did a wonderful job with my surgery, and medically, I couldn't have asked for a better experience. Negative, because its been a nightmare with the language barrier, and the commute is retched. Also, I don't think a lot of the doctors up there are wild on the idea of American patients.
Anyway! The fill itself was perfect! I had no pain at all. However, the doctor that did the procedure, took me right back to radiology. He didn't even attempt without an X-Ray. I've heard that this is not the norm. I've heard that they normally try to get to the port without it, and should they have no luck, that they then move to do an X-Ray. But, he did a sufficient job none the less. He put in 3cc's. This made me happy. I was concerned because of how hungry I was, and how much I knew I needed a fill. These trips to Frankfurt are hardly what I want to do once a month. So I requested that he put in as much as possible, due to the fact that its a good two hour drive. And also, every time I go for an appointment, we basically have to plan to be there for a solid 3 hours, if not more. Not ideal for my little one. She gets VERY bored, VERY quick.
I of course didn't feel much different after the fill. I was advised to be on liquids for the remainder of the day, and then I could go back to regular foods the following day. So it wasn't until the Halloween party that I had my first bit of food. Well, low and behold, I ate too much, or I ate too fast... I'm not really sure what happened. I started out very focused on my eating, making sure I was chewing and so forth. But I think with getting distracted in conversation, one of the two happened, and I made a mad dash for the bathroom, which was of course occupied, and then ended up outside. But by the time I got out there, I simply paced up and down the side walk, and after 20 minutes it seemed to get better. This was my first time around with food getting stuck, and let me tell you, I did not enjoy in the least!!!! It's all about learning at this point. I just can't wait until I have this band all figured out!

On a brighter note- Here are some fun pictures from the party, courtesy of my dear friend Connie! 

My husband and I, dressed as old geezers. 

I have a feeling this will be us in a couple dozen years!

My little bumble bee! Missing parts of her costume, but you know how it is with toddlers!

Well, back to the fill.  I'm hoping that the amount I have in my band right now will do the trick. So far it has. I am not hungry much at all, and when I am, I am feeling a good amount of restriction. I must say, the full feeling is really quite marvelous!!!!! 

Delayed Fill

Haven't posted in a while, mostly because I've been busy running around all week, and haven't really had much new to report.

I was supposed to have my fill, and follow-up appointment on Tuesday, but due to car troubles, I had to reschedule for today. So, today is the day! I have my Lidoderm patch, armed and ready! I'm really hoping they fill it right up, because I am basically not feeling any restriction.

This week has probably been the hardest week aside from the surgery itself. Practicing self-control, for me, has been extremely difficult. But since I have been exercising so much, its been a teeny bit easier to eat better foods. The thought of indulging in crappy food, after busting my rear-end so hard at the gym, makes me feel guilty and irritated. So that has helped!


I'll post again after the fill!! Ahh!!

Port Protection

Obviously the area that contains my port is sensitive. I've heard many a bandster talk about it starting out extremely sensitive and staying that way. But there are times (like when changing my daughter's diaper for example) when I wish that my port could come with the same kind of protection that a gentlemen gets for his... shoulders during the pleasant game of football.

New invention- shoulder pads for our stomachs! 

Mmm... no.

My baby girl always seems to kick me where it counts, at least half a dozen times a day. Poor port, always taking a beating.
My port will have it's pleasure this Tuesday though. I'm getting nervous about my first fill. My stepmom sent me some Lidoderm patches to help take the edge off on the big day (thank you kindly, I love you =D!!!) I think what I'm most worried about is what it feels like, and what happens if I go straight from yellow to red, and completely skip green!

Silly I know. This coming from the same girl that had to be mentally dragged, kicking and screaming to get the staples out from the surgery. No pain no gain. But I am such a pansy!

Oh, and lame-o here forgot to weigh herself today. So my weekly weigh-in will be a day late this week. Not that I'm overly excited to hop on the scale... almost positive it will be an increase this week. But whattaya' gonna do? Embrace, embrace embrace. AND GET MY FILL BEFORE I GO OFF THE DEEP END! Can't wait to get from yellow to green!

Self-Control

I knew this wasn't going to be easy. And also knew that the band was simply a tool to help me through my weight-loss. Yes, shocker- the band has yet to magically delete every ounce of fat from my body. Something I didn't know however, was how quickly self-control would become an even bigger tool through my weight-loss. I think I can safely say, that now that I have gone through the weeks of only liquids, and the pain of the surgery, my self-control is at it's peak. Every bit of me (lard included) wants to make sure that I never have to go through all of that again, nor do I want to ruin everything I've worked so hard for. Why go through all of the trouble of pre-op diet, surgery, and post-op diet, just to throw it all away before the first fill even comes around. I have found this week and last week challenging, but one thing I think I've come out of it with, is my self-control. When my stomach was still swollen from the surgery, I got a taste (no pun intended) of what restriction felt like. Now that I am almost 27 days post-op, I am not feeling the restriction I once did. But since I know the amount I was able to consume when there was restriction, I think I can safely apply it to now, when there is no restriction. I will admit, there was a span of days where I hadn't realized the restriction was gone, and my food choices were not the greatest. This will probably result in my first scale increase this Friday. But not without a lesson learned.

The band isn't going to do my thinking for me. My brain still needs to be on board if I want to be successful with my weight-loss.

Only 6 days until my post-op follow-up/fill. Basically, I'm counting the minutes.

Gymmin' It and Sammichs

So this past week, I started up at the gym. Not pushing it too hard, as I haven't gotten the go ahead from my surgeon for exercise. But I'm doing the whole "listening to my body" thing. The feeling after I'm done working out, is basically euphoric. Makes me very eager to start up Zumba again!

My first follow-up and fill is on the 25th. I'm a little anxious about this appointment. Seems like I've been able to eat a little more lately than I should be able to. I'm terrified of stretching out my pouch before I even get to the follow-up appointment. So I've been trying to keep strict to the diet, and chugging water in between meals. However this weekend I did have my first sandwich. It was pretty much amazing. I started off too fast on it, and when I took the first three bites, they fell heavy on my stomach like bricks. I think I was just excited to have my first scrumptious sammi in WEEKS! But then I quickly remembered my proper-band-eating etiquette, and chew chew chew, and then chew chew chew some more, and my sammich and stomach were getting along great. But the fact that I was able to fit an entire six inch sandwich in my stomach, with out feeling sick, puts me on edge. Maybe next time I'll cut that in half. Wow. And to think, a little over a month ago, I was completely willing and able to devour a footlong with a bag of chips and a large soda like it was nothing. And then of course still be hungry after.

Learning. Its all learning about my new stomach, and how to treat it right. Just hope I don't flunk.

A Blessing in Disguise

Well... today I had my first ever encounter with Army Wife Drama (I shall shorten that to AWD). I think for being an Army Wife for over 3 years, this isn't too bad to just have my first encounter now. Of course we all hope it never comes along, but there is always someone out there that has to ruin it!

Anyway, I'm not here to talk about what that AWD was... I'm here to talk about what this particular spouse knew about me. Something I haven't told a lot of the spouses here- that I am banded! I haven't ever been ashamed of my band. I've been ashamed that I already need it at 22 years old. I'm sad that I let my body become so toxic. But, I'm happy I'm on my way to fixing it! Hallelujah!

So the spouse that was on the other end of this AWD is one of the few that ended up knowing about what I underwent a couple of weeks ago. And after it all went down today, I got terrified that everyone in the unit will now know that I had a weight loss surgery. Since she has shown me her true colors today, I have this feeling it wouldn't be beneath her to gossip about me, and to share something I told her in confidence.

And then it hit me. It was if I heard God himself whisper in my ear-

"Just embrace it."

I think today is the first day, that I'm kinda done caring about what people think of me. I'm not perfect, I'm only human. So of course there will ALWAYS be someone who would like to think they will benefit from my mistakes. And I know I'll have off days, where I will feel sensitive, and vulnerable to what others have to say/think. But I am praying that I can hold on to this feeling of refreshing self-confidence that I have tonight. 

Something my mother said to me tonight- "How does that saying go Kelly? If someone is talking about you behind your back, it just means you're two steps ahead of them!" 

Why bother caring about that petty crap anymore. I truly almost broke down tonight all because of one Army Wife. How could I let someone have that affect on me!? 

So, her raunchy ways, were a blessing in disguise for me tonight. Because guess what- 

I'M BANDED! And I don't really give a flying... squirrel what anyone has to say about it! =) 

Oh... and AWD can suck it =* 

So! What Do You Think?!

Very excited to have my new layout up and active! ALL thanks go to Jen at Just Foolin' Blog Designs! She worked diligently to make all of the wishes I had for my blog, appear! Jen is very talented and further more, kind and professional! If you take your blogging seriously, than have your blog seriously redesigned by someone who know's what she's doing!

Here's what my blog looked like before-

Cute, but completely irrelevant to what I blog about.

Now, feel free to grab a button for your blog to represent! =) 

Thank you for your work Jen! I love it! 

I went to the gym today for the first time since surgery! Did 30 minutes on the elliptical, and another 20 on the bike, which felt nice. I made sure not to over-do it, and didn't push myself as hard as I normally would. I am terrified of messing up my band, and don't want to put a fork in the healing process. I took it easy, and had a nice gentle work out, burning around 450 calories. Not to bad. The gym I went to on post, has a mommy and me area. So this made it really easy to bring my daughter along. I look forward to spending many hours there in the future!

A question I have for my fellow banditas- when you were in the liquid/mushy phase, what did you do if you were invited out to restaurants? Did you stay home until you were in the clear? If you did go out, what kind of things did you order in the mushy phase? Just wondering!

Anyone have any fun recipes to share for the mushies!?!? I need some healthy choices put before me!

Well Hello "Mushies!"

Officially entered the mushy stage this weekend! Pretty nice to have something with some consistency! It is also nice to feel restriction! Things that I used to easily be able to eat an entire bowl of, I can now only eat... oh... I don't know... a HUMAN PORTION SIZE! Hello!!

Things are really starting to feel normal now. Everyday I learn more and more about my band, and about my new stomach. However, something I know I need to chill out on, are my nerves flaring up every time I get a headache, or body ache. I instantly think that something could be wrong with my band. Did anyone else go through this? Is this normal? And how long did this weird paranoid feeling last?

Well! Anyway! My family is waiting for my undivided attention! So I'm off!

Oh... but not quite yet.. got some shots of my daughter and I this weekend! Feeling better and better about being IN the shots with her, instead of being always behind the camera!

LOVE HER!!!!! She's such awesome motivation for me! Please excuse the pasty white arms...

Ok. Now I'm really off! =)

Stay tuned for a pleasant surprise from a "justfoolin" kinda gal!

Goodbye Staples! Hello Decent Workout?

Let me start off by saying- In regards to my last post, I am feeling MUCH better today. Hallelujah!

Well, today I have to get my staples removed. All 18 of them! Certainly not an appointment I am looking forward to. I'm such a pansy when it comes to this! I have heard from numerous people that it doesn't hurt, just feels like a little tugging... but... Ewww! I'm happy they are finally coming out today though. For me, it will really feel like the surgery process is over. I can close that door and open the new one to weight-loss. Also... I'm really tired of tearing bandages off of my skin! So it will be nice not to have to worry about changing those anymore!!

So I have some questions about exercise. I have been walking everyday, wether its through the mall, or through the neighborhood, I have made sure that I am getting my walking in. But I am wondering when its safe to really pick up the pace a little. Once the staples are out? I am desperate to start Zumba up again, and also really eager to get to the gym. Especially since the gym on any post or base here, is free for military and their families! How soon after you were banded did you begin a workout regiment?

Oh Hi! Just Me. And Poop. And Bubba.

So! How's everyone's week going? I can't quite believe that it's Wednesday already!!! Things have been going really well for me lately! Its been a busy week full of challenges, but I've done pretty well through them. Having friends who don't know about my surgery inviting me out for dinner is a less than stellar expeirence. But I refuse to ditch my friends, and lock myself in the house because my diet is temporarily different.
This post-op diet has been way more difficult than the pre-op diet was. I have no idea why. Through out the pre-op diet, I never craved things I couldn't had. I followed it and and didn't once think about cheating. This post-op diet... I have been so desperate for something solid, that I will take a bite of whatever it is, just to chew something, and spit it back out. I know this isn't forever. And I look forward to gradually getting to the point where I can eat solid foods again. Just tough! One thing I can say though, I can't believe how much less I am hungry. Around this time of night for me (5pm) Is when it starts to get the worst! I remember always "vegging" out at this time of day, right straight until bedtime. Its nice that in between meals, water is always enough! I don't even think about eating the way I used to. It's nice. Refreshing.

One thing I am battling right now is something most don't really like to talk about on a regular basis...

***WARNING***

I'm about to write about poop. =)

Was the image going to far?

I'm sorry.

I haven't had a BM since the night before my surgery- almost two weeks ago. And it took my surgeon/surgeon's nurse that long to respond to me with what to do! It seemed obvious to me what I needed to do, but I wasn't sure what was allowed with the band, and I am terrified of messing something up! I haven't felt the urge to go, I've had no bloating, and no stomach pain. Just plain old haven't had a BM. So, needless to say, I just took good 'ole Ex-Lax for the first time in my life. This has me worried! Guess I'm not going anywhere tonight!!! 

Any who!! That's that on the poop topic. On a much, MUCH (!) brighter note, another blogger is to be banded this week!! I call her Bubba! Because she and I are like peas an carrots! She is also just starting out on this journey just like I am, and we some how landed upon the fact that our friendship is much like that of Forrest and Bubba. Stop on by and say hi to MOMoJJ, and make sure she's got all of the support she could possibly need for her surgery this Thursday!!! YOU GOT THIS BUBBA!!! Many prayers for you this week! Can't wait to hear from you on the other side!! 

Ahhh! To Be Pain Free!

Yesterday, Sunday, was the first day since surgery that I have been relatively pain-free. So understandably, I took advantage of it! Went to church, walked around the mall, came home made my daughter and I some lunch, and then we went out and walked some more! It was gorgeous weather, and I was finally starting to feel decent and human again!

Things are finally getting easier. Sleeping, eating, and just going about my daily life is a breeze. I finally am able to fall asleep easy, now that there is no pain. All of my shoulder pain just, POOF! vanished. So weird. But I'm not complaining! My eating is interesting. I am technically supposed to be on a liquid diet for 2 weeks post op. I still pretty much am. But I have add in mashed potatoes and eggs to that. I'm simply listening to my body, and seeing what will work and what won't. I feel restriction, and I don't know if that is because of the swelling still or if its just the band doing its lovely job. But let me tell you, after years of never having the sensation of being full, to now feeling it at every meal... so wonderful. I've learned to use smaller glasses, plates, bowls, and silverware. What's the point to have a cereal bowl, when I can only consume about a little bit more than a golf ball of mashed potatoes!?

Feelin' good ladies!

Blarg!

Well... I wish I had a weight update, but I don't. I had decided I was going to choose Friday as the day I updated everyone about my weight, like many other's have chosen to do. "Friday Weighday!"

Yesterday morning, I hopped on the scale right after my husband left for work (at 5:30 in the morning... YUCK) and I was sorely disappointed when the scale showed an increase in weight! So I dragged myself back to bed, feeling pretty bummed. About an hour and a half later, my daughter woke up. So I decided to just be sure... and it said I was 6 pounds less then what I had weighed an hour and a half ago!

Needless to say, I will be figuring that out very quickly before next Friday Weighday!

I've been doing pretty good lately! Everything feels like it's getting better. Honestly, if it wasn't for this stupid shoulder pain, I'd be able to say the surgery was relatively painless. It's the only thing that has seem to have been getting worse as the week goes by. Yesterday, and today, the pain is so sharp in my left shoulder, I can't take a deep breath with out wanting to keel over. I saw a doctor on base about it yesterday morning, and he basically treated me like I had no clue what I was talking about. That I shouldn't be so quick to relate it to the surgery, and he then proceeded to show me some different stretches... just a big joke. Just have to hope it goes away soon I guess.

One of the really cool things that I have experienced this week, is my friends commenting on the fact that it looks like I've lost weight. Not very many people know about my surgery, so for the people who have no clue about it to notice, feels good!

So my questions for my other fellow bandster's-

Did anyone else have the similar shoulder pain?
What was your diet like immediately after surgery?
 --Were you told only clear liquids the week after surgery and did you follow that?

Bahh... This is Nothin'!

Funny what a good night sleep can do for you!

Oh my gosh I feel so refreshed this morning. I took the advice of a fellow blogger (Vickyd My Shrinking Belly) and dug out my body pillow (which hadn't been used since months 8&9 of my pregnancy). Propped that baby right up along side me, snuggled up, and slept harder than a rock!!! Seems like it should have been such an obvious choice... but it took this fine gal recommending the body pillow to me, to get through a night that has since-forth seemed impossible to get through! So, might I suggest you go swing by and say hi to my hero Vickyd?!?!!!

On another bright note- I've had my first Non-Scale Victory (NSV)!!! My wedding rings and promise ring seem to be slipping right off of my fingers! Wonderful... I just had these resized (to be bigger) in April. But whatever! I still kind of love it! 

A Little More Difficult Then I Thought!

Before I even begin with my intended post, I sincerely want to thank all of you for your words of support and motivation. To come on here and see so many people supporting me does make this much easier, and ~every~ ~single~ ~comment~ just touches my heart. Thank you. So much.

I have been home for a few days now (since Sunday), and its been a rough couple of days. However I am feeling better and better every day. I have been doing just as you all have suggested and have been sipping water constantly, and trying to walk around every day.

Nights have been nightmares. Only being able to sleep on my back sucks. I'm hoping to be able to sleep at least on my side soon. But it seems like every time my head hits the pillow, my headache arrives, entire body aches, and I can't seem to get my legs to lay still. Also, the shoulder pain has been unreal.

This all seems pretty crummy right!? It's not as bad as I thought the recovery was going to be. Thats refreshing for me. As of yesterday, the scale revealed that I have lost a total of 21 pounds since beginning the pre-op liquid diet. So that's pretty neat! I just can't wait for this to be over. I am so anxious to get where so many other's are, living day to day, comfortably, with the Lap-Band.

I wanted to talk about my experience in the German hospital. I hated almost every minute of it. I never knew what was about to happen next. Every time someone walked in to my room, I would say to myself "Lovely, what now...?" It was so strange the way they did things, My IV lines were always messy, and they would leave my arm and sheets covered in blood. Another thing that was irritating for me, is they weren't to big on pain medicine. The things they gave me (which is a mystery in itself) didn't even take away the headache, and minor body aches I had. They sent me home with two pills (un-named) and just enough bandages for one change.

I have found for the past two days, that I have been craving solids more than ever. Not that I'm hungry, or could even eat them should they be placed in front of me... but I just ~want~ it. My husband made my daughter a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch yesterday, and I could have leaped across the counter just to grab a bight.

This whole post sounds like a lot of complaining, and that's because it is... Just wanted to be real about what I'm feeling and what I went through. But the fact of the matter is, I'm home, the Lap-Band is in place and the procedure was done very well. It's just been a crummy couple of days.

Home and Banded!!

Well... It certainly has been an interesting couple of days. But I am banded and home. My abdomen surprisingly isn't the most painful part of this experience, its the pounding headache that has come along with it. I'm assuming its because I haven't eaten or had much to drink in about 3 days. So I'm trying to slowly(very slowly) pump the water. The worst part of this entire process, is not being able to pick up, and snuggle my daughter.

I have lost a total of 17lbs all together!! Pretty exciting!!

Well I'd love to write more right now, but I am beyond exhausted. Will write more about the surgery tomorrow! Thank you all for your on-going support!

Final Pre-Op Stats!

12 pounds!!! Made this pre-op liquid diet worth it!!! I've lost 12 pounds already!

Getting on the scale this morning, I weighed myself 3 times. I just wanted to be sure I was reading it correctly. So happy with the results of the past 10 days. Nice to see hard work has paid off for once.

Needless to say I am up WAY to early. 6 am. Yuck.

So my before starting the liquid diet I was 255 lb. Today, the day I leave for Frankfurt for my surgery (which is actually tomorrow), I am 243 lb! 

Here's me! Bleary eyed and gung-ho! Ignore the crummy quality. 

Anyway! I'm off! Hopefully I'll be home Saturday! Banded! 

Pre-Op Jitters...

I'm NERVOUS! 

Not of the surgery itself... but I'm so anxious to be successful with my new friend the Lap-Band, that I'm nervous I will fail. 

Makes absa-tute-ly no sense huh?

Anyway. I leave bright and early in the morning to have all of the pre-op tests done. Physical exam, ultrasound, lab tests, chest x-ray, EKG, lung function test, and an endoscopy. Totally the most fun I can even imagine to have scheduled on a wonderful day like Thursday! 

If your new to sarcasm, follow my blog for a week, and you'll be a pro in no time.

Friday is surgery day!! =0 Ahhh!!! Pretty excited! 

The only thing I am not looking forward to about this hospital stay, is that my husband won't be staying with me. He has to stay at home with our 14 month old. She'd be a little crazy in a hospital for 3-5 days. Not to mention it'd be boring for her! Gosh, it's gonna be boring for me! I'm hoping that I'll sleep non-stop until they discharge me. A room with no internet, and the only English speaking channel is CNN...

This weekend is going to be STELLAR!!!!

So, needless to say, I won't be able to update my blog for DAYS! I don't know what I'm going to do!! Will you survive without me? Hope so. Gonna need you when I get home! 

I plan to have one last visit with you all tomorrow morning, give my "final pre-op weigh in" and body shot that I promised a few days ago. I'm excited to see what the that sweet scale says in the morning. 

Revamping Campbell's Tomato Soup

As you all know, over the past 10 days, I have been on the pre-op liquid diet. Right around day 3, the things that I have been allowed to eat, got really boring. Really quick.

One of the reasons I think I put on so much weight is my "salty-sweet-salty" eating pattern. I would have something salty for lunch, and want a desert after that was sweet. Then right after that desert, I would want something salty again, so I would maybe have a handful of chips. And just continue on and on and on. 

So with this liquid diet, it has been difficult to do that. So many of my choices are sweet. Protein drinks, jello/jello pudding, smoothies, juice, popsicles, hard candies. Sweet. Sweet. Sweet. My saltier choices are pretty limited- V8, broth, and tomato soup. I know that's not all there is out there, but its all that was really appetizing to me in the slightest. 

Well this lead me to the experimenting with seasonings and such. And I hereby present my revamped tomato soup!!

Here's what you'll need-

Throw it all in a pan and your done! No, just kidding! =)

But not really- Follow the directions for the tomato soup, and then basically just through in a little dabble of all of the other things! I really really like dill. So I add two big pinches of the dill weed. Then a shake or two of the garlic salt, and a shake or three (if you like it hot... who doesn't ;) of the hot sauce! Heat it all up and HOLY YUMM-O! I would say this would be marvelous with crackers or grilled cheese... but... ugh... not for a liquid diet!

This has been the best meal for me. When my hubby isn't home to cook his amazing tomato soup from scratch, that is. 

Zumba w/ a Side of Sweat! Hold the Broken Ankle!

This is the first time working out has been nothing but fun for me!!!

I have tried many different ways of working out. Gym, walking, running, Wii Fit/Plus and more. Blah. Blah. Blah. This "game" is a straight up blast! 

I tried the actual Zumba class on base, and it resulted in me fracturing my right ankle, due to being distracted by trying to make sure my daughter wasn't getting into anything. They claimed it was a "Mommy and Me Zumba class". Not quite. Regardless of the poor setup, I wasn't comfortable. Being surrounded by a dozen skinny people who had been attending the class for months, was a less than stellar experience for me. I'm happy for those who enjoy the classes on base, they all seem to have a lot of fun, but it just wasn't for me.

Maybe I didn't give the real classes enough of a chance, but I can't pass up the connivence of having my very own Zumba class in my living room! I can lay my daughter down for a nap, pull down the blinds, and get to dancing!  

The thing I like the most about Zumba for Kinect, is the fact that I don't have to focus on holding a remote, or focus on my movements in order to score points. I can focus on the work out, on my body burning calories! I make the movement, and the Kinect picks it up. Done. Simple.  Fun! 

Well, the weight is still coming off, and I'm holding on strong to this liquid diet. My surgery is in just a couple of days! I can't wait to get it over with. 

Happy Tuesday all! 

Day 8 Pre-Op

I was going to take a break today... but then I saw a little something special on my computer screen this morning...

I thought this was fun! I have my target weight set at 190, because thats right around my pre-pregnancy weight. Essentially I would like to get to my healthy BMI. In my mind, if I break it up into two chunks (goals) then it seems more realistic! 

Don't you love Lap Band's ways to celebrate!?! I kinda love the whole list. To celebrate today, I certainly will kick back and relax, watch a movie, write a blog entry about this achievement (currently underway), and most definitely will hug someone! I'm probably even going to add...

• Go to a Zumba class

...to the list! So the class might take place in my living room... whatever! Zumba is Zumba is Zumba! 

Day 7 Pre-Op

First off, I have to apologize for my blog being a mess today!! I was doing some revamping that took WAY longer than I expected!

Well!- the festival was fun. But a lot more difficult than I had imagined. The food was everywhere, as it should be at a festival. It was as if I could not escape the amazing smell of it all. However, I lasted three whole hours there, with out failing my diet! I enjoyed watching my friends and family go on rides, roaming the fun festival games, and most of all... people watching. Couldn't help but chuckle at the people who were completely wasted off of the fresh German wine.

Today has been relatively easy to get through. I could have clobbered my husband when on our way to church this morning. We always stop at the mini-mart on our way to church to pick up a drink and a small snack to have before service. So this morning my only request was a bottle of water. He came out with my bottle of water, accompanied by my favorite German snack (Zweibelwringes, like Funyons only better) and a Red Bull. I then had to sit right next to him as he ingested the delicious smelling munchies all the way to church. Now I don't expect Joey to stop eating the things I long for, just because I can't. But it certainly drained everything in me to not munch along with him. Self control. *breathe* Self control.

But aside from this morning, eating hasn't really been on my mind at all. As a matter of fact... I am just now realizing that the only thing I've had for nourishment today is a creamy tomato Soup At Hand and some water. Guess it's time to find some dinner!

Getting closer and closer to the surgery day. I am getting really nervous. I leave for Frankfurt bright and early Thursday morning. Friday morning I get the Lap Band (yay!). So nervous. I've never had any type of a surgical procedure done before. Ok... unless you'd include wisdom teeth being removed. I think that's the only time I have been knocked out, and that was back when I was a junior in high school.

Anyway... surgery is coming right up! YIKES!

<---Good for a giggle? Who doesn't need a giggle?

Day 6 Pre-Op

I have a challenge before me today.

A little reasoning first- My husband is a soldier in the United States Army. We have been living in Germany for a little over 2 years. I have enjoyed it so much. There are two traditional German events that I have not taken part in since being here. The first- Christmas Markets. The second- wine fests' or festivals.

I have a challenge before me today.

Today, on day six of my pre-op liquid diet, I am attending one of the largest festivals in Germany.

 ~Dürkheim's Wurstmarkt~  

I'm very excited, and not worried about failing my diet. The thing I'm most worried about, surprisingly, the other friends, and other people in my husband's unit, finding out that I am having a weight-loss surgery. Pretty silly, huh? 

I have only told a small handful of people about my surgery. I've really only told family. The unit my husband is in is really close knit, and there is a lot of drama. This may be a little conceded, or a little self-centered, but I don't want my name being passed around the unit because I chose a road to a healthier life.  

I haven't yet gotten these obnoxious comments-

"You know Kelly, if you just continue to be successful with this diet, you won't need the surgery!"

"Have you even tried just plain old diet and exercise?!"

"Do you really think your that over weight? Isn't a surgery a little bit over-kill??"

And I'd like to keep it that way. Which is why I have chosen to keep my surgery my business, and no one else's. Maybe someday I won't fear those comments. But I guess I'm just a little too sensitive today to let to many people in. 

ANYWAY!- Back to today! Should be interesting. I plan to bring a couple of my protein shakes with me and a couple bottles of water. It's going to be some kind of difficult to walk by the amazing German cuisine. But I have to remind myself that the liquid diet is not going to last forever. And that the result of my hard work and discipline are showing on the scale!! 

Plus, there is more to do at a festival then eat... right!?! I can't lock myself up in the house just because there might be temptation at my destination. Today I will have my husband, and the one other family here in Germany that knows about the journey I'm on, there to support me. Also, looking down at my daughter is motivation in itself. 

Day 5 Pre-Op

So... I've lost 5 pounds since beginning the pre-op liquid diet! Pretty amazing! That's a little more than a pound a day! And actually its the only thing keeping me going. It's been a little bit tough so far. But not tough enough to the point that I have cheated the diet, or even thought about it. The times that it has been the toughest are when I see others eating. Just looking at it, and smelling it, makes my mouth water, and the hunger pains begin. With that being said... These are things that I used to take for granted. When I would make myself lunch, I was too focused on the consumption of what I was making, to actually enjoy what it looked like, and what it smelled like. I now am seeing that food had to be an instant gratification for me. I was "hungry" therefore I had to eat RIGHT AWAY! Now I am seeing things a little differently. And I like it.
So here are the things that are giving me strength: Of course the family and friends that know about what I'm doing have been power houses of support! And this has been wonderful. Knowing that I have people pushing me, and cheering me on has been a motivator. And I don't want to let a single one of them down. Another thing keeping me going are the numbers. Seeing my weight just gradually decrease more and more is awesome. Not seeing the number on the scale go up all week is really just exhilarating! But I know it's not all about the number. And if I didn't own a scale, I would be ok, because here's what else has been uplifting through this- the way I feel when I wake up in the morning, and how I feel through out the day until I go to bed, is such a drastic change. I used to wake up in the morning thinking (sadly) what am I going to eat today? What can I have for breakfast? Maybe we can order out for dinner tonight! SO obsessed with food. But lately... it's not my first thought. It's nice. Refreshing. I don't feel bound by food anymore. I feel happier through out my day, knowing that I am succeeding, and that I am getting healthier and healthier everyday!
If someone tried to tell me 2 weeks ago that I would be happier this way, I'd say "That's nice, where's my eggs and bacon for breakfast!?" I'm just happy, that for the first time, I'm on the other side of my addiction that is food.
In other news-
My husband has always been a marvelous cook, and he has always enjoyed cooking up wonderful creations for me! So this has been a challenge for him too, to find out what he can make me, that is within the boundaries of my liquid diet! So... we've both just found out that he makes some amazing soup from scratch. Campbell's has nothing on his tomato soup! I've been pretty blessed to have my husband by my side, supporting me, and keeping me on track this week! I'm so grateful!

13 September 2011 Body Shot

Wanted to add this photo, taken last week, during my trip to Paris. Here I am in front of the Louvre! It was a fun trip, but it was hard on my ankles and legs. I can't wait to return when I am in better shape! 

My weight in this picture is 255 pounds. 

The next photo I will upload will be the day before my surgery! 

Day 2 of Pre-Op Liquid Diet

Yesterday and today have been interesting being only on liquids! Yesterday was especially difficult, because I wasn't even sure if my surgery had been approved yet. Only 10 days away, and my insurance still didn't have an answer for me. So when I had to start the liquid diet yesterday, I was feeling kind of anxious about the fact that I was getting my hopes up and spending my time, energy, and money, on beginning this diet. Though even if I did start the diet, it wouldn't be a lost cause if the surgery didn't end up being approved. I knew this. I just wanted to know that it was going to pay off in the long run.
Today, day two, was alright. I found out around 1500 that it was all approved and that I was good to go. So that felt like a giant weight lifted off my shoulders! No pun intended =)
Some of the things I've been consuming are-
Yogurt
Hard Candies
Cream of Chicken Soup
Tomato Soup
Ice Cream
Special K Protein Shakes
Apple Sauce
Pudding
Plenty of Water
Juice
Tea
Popsicles


I must say, it's been a lot easier the second half of today, to stick to this diet, knowing that I am working hard toward a specific prize- the surgery. I've learned a lot about self-control just in these past 48 hours. I've also learned that I am not going to wither away if I don't have a huge breakfast lunch and dinner.

I have only told a few of my friends and family about this surgery. The first person I told (aside from my husband) was my  Dad and Stepmom. She also has struggled with her weight, and has successfully had the Lap Band for several months. So she has been a huge support system for me. The second person I told was a fellow army wife, who has been a very dear friend of mind since we moved to Germany. She's one of the few people I can trust to not judge me. And she also, has been a wonderful supporter for me. Then I told my Mom, and my younger brother. This so far, has been it. I have been hesitant to tell many more people, because I am afraid they won't understand, will pass judgement, and/or will gossip about me.
Well, that's all I have for tonight! I'm off to watch "Tommy Boy" with my husband! Good night all!

Intro

Hey all. My name is Kelly. I'm writing to share my journey of weight loss with all who are interested. As of right now I weigh 254.5 pounds, and I am only 22 years old.
I am married to a wonderful and supportive man named Joey, who loves me no matter what I look like. We started dating in 2006, and got married 2008. We also now have a daughter, Alexis-Rae Elizabeth, who is almost 14 months old.
While I was pregnant, I put on a total of 70 pounds. I only lost about 20 pounds of that baby weight, and have basically remained at the weight I am today for about a year.
I am scheduled to have the Lap Band surgery 23 September 2011. My husband is active duty army, and we are stationed in Germany. So I will be having the surgery in Frankfurt.